


The Devil Is A Part Time Hero

by BlackPetals4



Series: This Show Is Cancelled [2]
Category: Supernatural, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cheeseburgers, Confused Castiel, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, Gen, Humor, Lucifer Being Lucifer (Supernatural), Lucifer' Background, Nick Fury is Not Amused, Not Really Character Death, Season/Series 11 Spoilers, Supernatural Season 5, The Colt (Supernatural), Tony Being Tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 10:22:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14211063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackPetals4/pseuds/BlackPetals4
Summary: Lucifer had no intention of dancing to somebody else's tune, even if that somebody was God himself. Why should he care about great plans for ending the world, when all he wanted was to live his life apart from Heaven or Hell? The Apocalypse was their show, not his. Humanity did have its good sides after all, one of them being fast-food. How could a fallen angel like him overcome such a temptation?





	The Devil Is A Part Time Hero

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to 'This Show Is Cancelled'!
> 
> I'm currently writing on a prequel and a sequel for this piece, but this story itself will remain a OS and it can stand by itself. It doesn't really matter that it's supposed to be part five of a series. It's sort of my starting point for the series. The other parts will take a while to finish and I thought, why not share what I have already? 
> 
> Please beware possible spoilers up to Season 11 of Supernatural.  
> About Season 5, there will be a slight difference in the timeline. Dean meets Death before he has met Lucifer, since the latter is not initiating any biblical events and laying low...in his own way.  
> By the way, the title comes from the anime 'The Devil Is A Part Timer'. My story has nothing to do with it, but I thought it sounded funny.  
> Enjoy!

 

**This Show Is Cancelled**

**[Part 5 – The Devil Is A Part Time Hero]**

 

 

“This is not how I imagined this meeting to go.” Director Nicolas Fury muttered under his breath.

That was the understatement of the century, because he couldn’t have imagined this to happen at all. In a meeting or elsewhere, at no given time.

He _hated_ not knowing something vital. He loathed not knowing, period. Vital or not, it was his job to know everything that was going on with this team. Be it the number of the punching bag Steve was on or the color of Natasha’s shoes on a mission, he knew about it. And who said it wouldn’t become important later? No doubt in this case though, a detail – _small, my ass_ – such as this was _unquestionably_ one of those things he needed to know immediately, urgently, right away and without any detours. Information like this was more than important. It was _Important,_ with a capital letter, for him to be prepared. For the sake of the world, not just for him or this organization. That didn’t mean he would share a secret such as this with anybody, much less the whole world though. Possibly word-ending threats needed to be dealt with quietly on a need to know basis, or there _would_ be a mass panic. If people knew how often SHIELD averted a crisis, no one would be able to sleep soundly anymore.

There was a problem with the matter at hand though that had to do with the fact that the man – individual, entity? – in question was a nigh all powerful, incorporeal being you did not want to piss off. Lest he decided to change their mind and destroy the planet in a grudge match of a truly epic size. To keep them from finding out about the Director’s plan should he devise one would be a challenge too, if not impossible. After all, who in their right mind would try lying to the _Prince of Lies_? This whole affair was one big migraine. A normal headache was too nice of a description and didn’t fit the proportions anymore. Thor and the Destroyer, Loki’s ‘little’ alien invasion or those cases of domestic terrorism that ended in a spectacular firework looked so inconsequential now. Funny how things suddenly seemed small in comparison when they had seemed like the possible end of the world as he knew it when he lived through them.

The fact that he was present for this meeting today was pure coincidence. The Avengers had recently come back from a bigger mission and the debriefing could not be held in the usual base on the ground for security reasons. One of his systems had been breached recently and the culprit had to be an insider – a fact he was still pissed about. Inside jobs needed to be handled as a priority. That meant his agents needed the briefing rooms and their equipment, and they didn’t need a distraction like the Avengers stopping by. Thus, the debrief was held on the Helicarrier, where Fury usually worked, and he had decided to attend it personally. They were in the middle of recounting how they had disabled a complex Machine of DoomTM – in this case literally as it was made by Victor Van Doom, that annoying fucker. Normally, the Fantastic Four dealt with him. This mission had been a bit above their pay-grade.

When the angel had whisked the three intruders in with no warning other than Stark jumping up a second earlier shouting ‘security breach’, he had been on his feet instantly. The soft sound of fluttering wings before they arrived had told him there was an angel involved. Which one the angel was wasn’t difficult to decipher when you knew who the other two people were. The Winchesters, he had read a lot about them. He hadn’t understood what they wanted.

Without wasting a second on the startled Avengers, who had flinched at the sudden appearance as well, the angel had pointed at Stark. The billionaire had held up his hands, in an innocent ‘what, me’ gesture as they rounded up on him.

“Lucifer.” The taller brother, Samuel Winchester, hissed. At first, Fury thought he had misheard. Or they had lost it.

Stark put down his hands and raised his eyebrows.  
“Oh, I didn’t expect you to find me first.”

Fury’s automatic denial was shattered, a heavy weight settled in his stomach. Wasn’t that an unexpected sucker punch. He had seen this man grow up, he had met him as a child, had watched his progress and how he had become Iron Man. That man was now possessed by an archangel, possibly killed. Tony Stark was Lucifer’s meat suit now, nothing else. He swallowed the bile threatening to rise. The team didn’t seem surprised at all at the accusation, he noted.

He knew what it meant when the Devil walked the earth once more. The literal biblical Apocalypse was upon them, if he had understood those two hunters and their angel correctly. What

surprised him even more than not knowing about this unfortunate development was that his team had apparently known about the end of the world and _hadn’t told him for months_.The only time this could have taken place was on that mission in Iowa. Back then had suspected something had happened that they hadn’t told him, the explanation about the loss of contact on their way back had rung false. He had let it go then, because they wouldn’t tell him more and he had other things to do than grilling them about a routine job like this. The whole team’s reports had sounded off, but Stark’s behavior was especially strange. Steve hadn’t been able to stop himself from looking at him and he had been way too quiet. He had seemed distant and unnaturally still. The director hadn’t been the only one who had noticed and dismissed it.

The time frame fit as well. If the beacon of white light that had destroyed a Convent in Ilchester, Maryland, and burned out the eyes of those watching had been indeed Lucifer breaking free. None of his contacts among the hunters had survived the flood of demons a Hell’s Gate had spat out not too long ago. He hadn’t had the time to set up new ones to pass him intel. No wonder he had been blind about what happened. As far as he knew, the Winchesters had been involved in the incident.

He would tear his agents a new on if they got out of here. Now though, he wanted to survive this meeting. Later, he could think about what to do to get rid of Lucifer. And if he was very lucky, save his vessel as well. Even though he would most likely never be the same again afterwards. No matter how much he annoyed him, he was still a good man and he was needed. Before the meeting, he had regretted officially killing off Coulson. The agent would have been the perfect handler for the team and would have taken care of this debrief faster than Fury could, due to a certain billionaire getting a kick out of arguing with him over nothing and generally grating on his nerves. In this context, that habit – because at this point it was mostly out of habit that they constantly sniped at each other – made much more sense. Questioning authorities was an ongoing theme here. Of course, it was going to be him taking that role. What if he was startled by this revelation? Fury’s good eye gave an involuntary twitch at the unintentional pun. Not. Funny.

Quickly abandoning that line of thought, he concentrated on following the unfolding events he was witness to. The Devil, _right_.

“I heard you wanted to see me.” Samuel spat hatefully.

The Devil answered, condescendingly:  
“Oh Sam, you don’t need that gun here. You know I would never hurt you. Not really.”

Why wouldn’t he hurt him? The only possible answer was that he could possibly need him in the future. Was Sam Winchester a possible vessel, maybe even his true vessel? Thoughts running wild, Fury hadn’t seen which gun he meant. Until Dean whipped it out from nowhere and held it in to Lucifer’s head. He had gotten closer to his target while Lucifer had been distracted by the younger brother. The gun was an old colt that wouldn’t have looked out of place in a wild-west movie. Fury had heard the legends about this weapon. Supposedly, it could kill everything. As the Director of SHIELD, he had to know about the threats of the supernatural kind just as well as their human counterparts. The relevant lore and myths were no exception of this. This colt had been lost for a long time and had now found his way to two of America’s finest hunters.

Sam stared at Stark in disdain. Dean’s answer to Lucifer’s statement was simple, but catchy.

“Yeah, well, I’d hurt you. So suck it!”

The gunshot rung in their ears. A body hit the ground. Dead.

Shouts were drawn from the Avengers, calling Tony’s name. Everybody was too shocked to move. No one could quite believe what had happened. Doctor Banner’s strained breathing was the only sound penetrating the expectant, heavy silence. They hadn’t wasted time to shoot him. He couldn’t wrap his head around the whole situation. The fucking Devil. Satan. Was he dead now, was it over? Tony would be dead as well.

A moment passed, nothing happened.

The sudden deep inhalation of air from the formerly presumed dead body on the floor made them all flinch. A small groan of pain.

“Ow…” Lucifer drawled out sulkily, the wound on his forehead rapidly closing while he got himself off the floor. Facing Dean, he asked: “Where did you get that?”

For a man that had just been shot in the head, he was remarkably calm about it. That might have to with how it didn’t work, but he had heard him whine about trivialities before. Complaining a bit, that was normal for him. Anger was a foreign emotion on Tony Stark’s face, he only reacted when he was provoked beyond anybody’s limits. Stane and The Mandarin had proved that. But this wasn’t Tony Stark. This deceptively calm face screamed _dangerous_ far more than an angry expression, or any other expression, could have. Luckily, nobody noticed his silent freak out behind the calm mask he wore (besides when it suited him to motivate his agents by making them piss themselves). Not that they remembered him being in the room in the first place, which he was very grateful for. The ability to disappear into the background was most useful.

The other people in the room seemed to be at a loss for words. Just as well, drawing attention to themselves right now might be suicidal. The cold atmosphere, the flickering lights and the suddenly increasing pressure in the room confirmed that. Bruce shifted nervously whilst Natasha and Clint went completely still, barely even breathing. Captain Rogers simply watched, wide eyed. A single bead of sweat made his way down Fury’s temple and rolled beneath his collar. He didn’t dare move to sweep it away.

The Winchesters and the angel were staring at Stark openly, not quite comprehending this as a serious question. The angel hastily grabbed the brothers’ shoulders and tried for a last-ditch attempt to escape certain death – and failed to take flight. Thrown off balance, the angel stumbled for a second.

“Cas-!” the older Winchester obviously wanted to ask if he was all right and what went wrong, but the angel shot him a quick glance to silence him.  
They must have set all they had on the success of the colt and now that it didn’t work, they had no exit, no other strategy left. Hopeless expressions began to creep onto their faces. They had lost.             

With a long-drawn breath to reign in his temper, the Devil continued his one-sided conversation, as if nothing had happened.  
“Well, it doesn’t matter anyways. Shooting people isn’t nice.”  
At this point, he had lifted a finger and waved it at Dean as if he were scolding a child.  
“Now, how did you find me? I’d rather not have the angel brigade kicking down my door next.”

Dean scowled at the treatment and couldn’t keep his mouth shut.  
“A demon told us. Endin’ the world ain't nice either.” He spat.

The man was insane. Lucifer didn’t kill the older brother though, nor his company. In fact, the air got several degrees warmer again and the constricting pressure dropped completely. Everyone sans Lucifer and Dean drew a relieved breath. The archangel seemed amused at the challenge. He couldn’t help but to draw a parallel to a Chihuahua barking madly at a grown wolf, thinking itself a predator.

“Hmm, I guess I’ll visit the chap then…What’s his name?” That sounded bored, if a little ominous in a homicidal way.  
Fury hadn’t known you could combine two such contradictory tones.

“Why should we tell you?”  
The lack of a reaction at his retort seemed to give the hunter enough confidence to push his luck and get all confrontational. Great. Brown eyes flickered red for the fraction of a moment. Nick almost thought he had imagined it, had it not been for the rest of the audience briefly stiffening again. Sam realized that too and pulled at Deans arm a little.

“I could just read your mind, you know.” Lucifer began conversationally, picking his nails, “I thought you would rather avoid that and just tell me instead. Why do you protect him, he’s a _demon_? Not that it’s overly important. I can find him by myself, but I would like to spend my time warding the rest of the mob off instead of searching for one little demon.”

Taking this as a clue that they wouldn’t be killed in the next few minutes, Sam gathered the confidence to ask the question Fury had on his mind as well.

“Why are you here? I mean, why do you concern yourself with staying hidden? There weren’t even a lot of apocalyptic omens we could find, and we searched for them everywhere.”

Lucifer sighed. “I like my life, it’s fun. Why would I want to leave?” Stark asked back, rhetorically in this case.

However, Sam answered regardless, if a bit hesitantly:  
“Ah…because you are the Devil and you want to destroy humanity?” Lucifer made a show of lifting his hand to his chin and stroking his beard thoughtfully, before dropping it again and beaming at the perplexed man.

“Nope, Pepper didn’t put that on my schedule. Not for the next week at least, I haven’t read her plans for the next week yet. JARVIS?”

“I do believe your next week involves three important meetings and a charity event you are not allowed to miss, otherwise I find no obligations matching your question.” JARVIS’ distinctive British voice coming out of nowhere startled the three invaders.  
They cast suspicious glances all around, not finding the source. Deciding it had sounded electronical, they obviously dismissed it as an advanced calendar-app or something.

“Three meetings. You’ve got to be kidding me, how boring. I take it back, this is no fun.” The Devil pouted. He _pouted_.

“Pepper…” the angel named ‘Cas’ muttered to himself, sounding positively lost.  
JARVIS didn’t faze him much, he was used to bodiless voices. From what the Director knew about angels, he most likely wanted to ask why a human was named after a commonly used spice.

“My CEO and girlfriend, formally my PA. She still sends me my appointments and stuff, though.” The small, _devilish_ smirk suggested he loved toying with them like this, weirding them out and throwing them off. Fury had to admit it worked. Sam opened and closed his mouth again, two times, before he found something to say to this.

“So…you, uh, aren’t interested…?” he stammered, very much put-off.

“Sammy-boy, I hate to break your heart, but I’m taken already. I’m in a serious relationship, absolutely monogamic. Pepper would skin me alive otherwise. It’s a shame, we could have surely had an awesome time together.” At this point, he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Though, your hair…Sam, why would I trade for _that_?” That little smirk was still in place.

The half disgusted, half relieved and still confused expression made for an odd look, contorting the giant’s face into an awkward grimace. He ran a hand through his hair absentmindedly. Fury could almost see what he was thinking next. What was wrong with his hair, many people had long hair?

They also had to digest the fact that the Devil was in a relationship with a human. Did Pepper know who she had been kissing and sharing her bed with? This whole speech was so…Stark, pure Stark. No wonder the man was suited to be a vessel. There had to be a little resemblance for it to work. Stark himself was possibly dead already, he reminded himself with no small amount of sadness, or he was suffering the agonizing pain of being possessed by an archangel.

Their efforts of gathering their thoughts was ruined the next second. Clint couldn’t help but to snort. The unexpected noise interrupted the silence that came from watching Sam making faces and drew the attention of the entire room. The big question was left unanswered for now.

“Alright, that was way too dramatic there, Tony, Pepper isn’t that showy like you are. She would probably deal with you in a much swifter way.” Hadn’t Clint gotten any of what was said before? This wasn’t Tony. His agent would get himself killed.

“You are right, she is efficient like that.” To Fury’s shock, the Devil only joked back in a fond tone.  
What. The. Fuck. That seemed to be the clue for the rest of the team to join in, casually talking to Lucifer like nothing was amiss, like he hadn’t possibly killed their teammate and friend. But what if he _hadn’t_ …How could they trust him, when the Devil was known for being an excellent liar?          

“Aye, the Lady Pepper is as fierce and proud a warrior as a Valkyrie.” Thor threw in.

“You should tell her that, a compliment is never amiss to get you in her good graces.” Clint suggested to Thor, who agreed this was a good idea.

“Be careful about how you say this to her it, though.” Natasha advised, concerned Thor would accidentally offend her with the implication that women were normally not fighters. He had the tendency to drop a comment that could be misinterpreted easily without him noticing.

Thor nodded, frowning slightly. “I would never offend Lady Pepper.”

“You better not. And don’t drop too many compliments, I might get jealous.” Lucifer – Tony? – chimed in.

“I thought we had established that she can take care of herself.” Doctor Banner noted dryly, completely in control of his other side once more.

“Okay,” Sam Winchester put a halt to their new topic of discussion before it got out of hand, “you don’t want for the Apocalypse to happen and you don’t want me to become your vessel?”

“Ding ding, we have a winner!” Lucifer exclaimed mockingly.

“That’s great and all…but _why_?” The older brother desperately wanted to know.

Brown eyes narrowed and stared searchingly into Dean’s green ones. He held eye contact unflinchingly, not even blinking once. For a long moment, silence fell again. Then, Lucifer shrugged. He had seemingly found what he had been searching for and felt the need to explain himself after all.

“I’m not cold anymore.” His voice carried a strange note Nick couldn’t quite identify. Going by Castiel’s wide eyed, unbelieving stare the angel knew exactly what his ‘older brother’ meant. When nobody else quite understood this seemingly unrelated statement, he continued.

“Once upon a time,” he started in a distant tone akin to the beginning of a fairytale, “I was Father’s most beloved child and I, in turn, loved my Father and my brothers more than anything. Therefore, my Grace was warm.”

Fury still didn’t understand why it mattered what temperature Grace had and what it had to do with the relationship to his family. Judging them by their expectant glances Lucifer rolled his eyes, but presumably decided to elaborate.

“Well then, it’s story time!” The sudden upbeat, cheery announcement was followed by a clap and the archangel turning away to face the window. His unpredictability was just disturbing. Unfazed by their frowns at his change of mood he began:

“When the other angels hadn’t been around yet, only the archangels, there was another Being besides God. He was the Light. She was the Darkness. Creation and Destruction. To create more, She had to be locked away. With the combined might of Him and us four we managed it, but He needed for someone to bear a mark, the key and the lock at the same time, so to speak, to Her prison. Of course, he gave it to me. I was his most loyal soldier and I able to withstand the Darkness better than my siblings, as my Grace burned brighter than theirs. He knew what would happen. The cursed mark would destroy me. I only knew it would be a burden at the time,” he laughed bitterly. It was dead silent, he was sure some of them even held their breaths subconsciously. Right now, his mind was making a handstand trying to digest the fact that _God_ had a _sister_.

“I couldn’t know what it would really do to me. At first, it was bearable, but it got worse until I barely held on. I begged for Him to help me, to ease my suffering, just a little, so I could continue on. The thought to ask Him to take the mark away never crossed my mind, I didn’t wish for anyone else to bear the mark. I had fought so many battles for Him since I had taken it. Always loyal. I had been His weapon to wield.”, he sorted, maybe at his younger self.  
If that was true…what an incredible tale. The Director was sure no one had heard it being told before. The other Avengers were listening closely as well, so they hadn’t heard it yet. There was no way to confirm the tale now. They were being told about concepts they would never be able to comprehend. The images painted in metaphors were more easily to understand, so they got a bit of the picture at least.

“Didn’t know that part of the story, Castiel?” he asked amusedly, turning around to face them once more. Castiel mutely shook his head. What could he have said? This was the point where the tale turned into a tragedy.

“It gets better! He didn’t help me, he turned away in disgust instead. Like it was my fault that my Grace was bleeding and scarred beyond recognition. Grace can’t bend like a human soul can, especially not an archangel’s. He didn’t care about me anymore, or about my sacrifice for the whole of Creation and simply continued to create more, shoved me aside into some dark corner to be forgotten. I began to become more…indifferent, you could say I stopped caring. I _couldn’t_ care anymore. My energy was needed elsewhere. Then, God made the humans and told us to love them more than Him…” The archangel trailed off.

Surprisingly, Castiel spoke up softly:  
“An angel’s love is different than that of a human. It is absolute. We love with our whole being. Change comes much slower for us than humans. Lucifer is saying he could not love humans more than God, he could not give them more than that or love our Father any less. He gave himself up for our Father. He is saying that it was impossible for him to follow our Father’s command, and he did not want to try. Angels must follow orders though, we were not supposed to have free will. He did not tell us we had the same right to it as humans. My siblings still don’t understand the concept and I am only beginning to grasp it.”  
The Winchesters obviously knew what their angel meant.

“You are doing it well, Cas.” Sam reassured him quickly.

Lucifer hummed an affirmative and moved on.  
“That’s what the Apocalypse is all about. Michael is enacting his free will and doesn’t understand what he is doing. He still believes he is doing good old Dad’s will. I asked him back then, if he would be on my side on this matter. I should have known he would always at least pretend to be the good son.”  
He could picture that easily. Steve shifted uncomfortably.

“Pride or envy could never have made me fall, that would have been pathetic. Angels aren’t humans, we aren’t judged by our sins, we cannot even really _sin_ at all, only _disobey_. Sins are a human concept. Humans always think everything is about them…”  
This statement was accompanied by a slight sneer. He had a point in this case, Fury had to give him that. Humans were self-centered. The part about sinning also made sense in a way, he would have to think about it later. Clearly, he hadn’t meant that angels were never wrong or couldn’t make mistakes. On the contrary. No, what was implied was simply that they had a different moral system or ways to judge themselves. Like a whole other culture, you could say. Interesting.

“In a way, I was – I am – prideful, but the others are too. That order was the last straw. I said no. It was strange. I chose to disobey Him. Something no other angel had ever done before. I knew most angels agreed with me, they just wouldn’t admit to it. Michael did as he was told and opposed me. Not for humanity though, but because God had given him an order. Hypocrites, the lot of them. It’s funny if you think about it, I disobeyed out of love and loyalty and was cast out whilst they, who only played going along, were not.”  
He trailed off again before exhaling sharply, wanting to finish the story quickly.

“I was cast to Earth, to _redeem myself_. My Grace grew colder as my former love for my family slowly turned into anger and resentment. I came back and did that thing in the garden with Lilith and the Tree of Knowledge, et cetera. Our fight escalated, and the rest is history.”

“What about the mark? You are different now…” Steve asked quietly before the others could. The man was catholic, it must have been hard for him to listen with his faith coming out intact. Fury wondered how Lucifer had convinced him to accept him in the first place.

“When I stopped caring after I had been cast down, I finally gave it away. To Cain. That is why it is called the Mark of Cain now. He became a demon, the first Knight of Hell, after he succumbed to it. A human soul can adapt to the Darkness. It can bend. Grace can’t, it can only break.”  
Horrified looks where exchanged at Lucifer’s admission. He had given that thing to a human when he knew what it would do. They could somewhat understand why he didn’t keep it, however. Knight of Hell didn’t sound splendid, Fury would have to research the term.

“What happened after you were defeated?” Clint wanted to know, not caring how he formulated his question.

“After God had cast the rebels out and I was locked in the Cage by my own brother to be forgotten until Daddy’s next great plan for me -” there was bitterness coating every word now  
“My Grace couldn’t heal anymore. I had let out all my rage and it got colder and colder. I didn’t care either way, I had given up on my family and with time, I nearly gave myself up completely. My siblings who had fallen with me could walk freely amongst the humans or in our new domain we had built back when we had been on Earth. They didn’t have their Grace, but they were free. All the while I was being locked away in the deepest pits of Hell. I needed to get out of there or I would descend into madness. Angels are not made to be alone. After a few millennia down there –“

He stopped as Bruce’ face twisted. The scientist knew what isolation could do. The Hulk forced him into a life on the run where he couldn’t risk talking to many people. Without meaning to, the audience found themselves sympathizing with the Devil. Wasn’t that what he wanted? And yet, Fury couldn’t make himself feel any different about it. Natascha knew that kind of torture too. She asked, how he could have been down there so long.  
Dean explained curtly: “Time runs differently in Hell, one month makes ten years, and that’s on the upper floors. The deeper you go down, the slower is gets.”

Tony shrugged nonchalantly, “No idea how long it’s really been, I didn’t count.”  
As if that made it better.

“After a few millennia,” he began anew, “I managed to weaken one small point in the Cage enough for a silver of my Grace to slip through. About the amount the Fallen had left to imitate a human soul. With all my power, I made a last effort to escape. The only way escape was possible was for me to become human. I cut out a piece of myself, like the ones who fall willingly do, and pushed it out. With no control where I was going I was lucky to end up on Earth and luckier still to find a bloodline that could carry me. Or maybe God wanted this to remain an option and it was His plan all along, who knows. Who cares.” he made a tossing gesture.

“The next child born to that line was me. I did remember bits and pieces of myself from before, but I ignored it mostly and lived my life as a human. Then another and another life until my Grace was freed and returned to me.”

Here, the Director couldn’t contain his shock anymore and inhaled sharply. That would mean that Tony Stark had never been anybody else. He had been Lucifer all the time, just with…amnesia. Holy shit, literally. He wasn’t possessed, he simply was fully himself once more. Was that less terrifying than the alternative? Fury couldn’t say. His observation skills had never failed him this badly. It couldn’t be true. He had seen the man grow up after all. Tony, Howard’s son, that genius kid he’d had an eye on had been the Devil himself the whole time and he never noticed. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t come up with possible ways to get rid of him, since he could still start the end of days on a later date, anytime. He had contingency plans for every Avenger in case they went rogue, this was no different. How would he explain Tony Stark missing to the public in that case? His thoughts where cut off by their resident Doctor.

“You have been free for a long time before now. You remember being human.” Bruce whispered.  
The archangel looked at him and smiled. This smile somehow seemed real, more real than any expression he had worn for the past few hours anyway.

“Brucie gets it.”

“What, you like humans now?” Dean sounded doubtful, rightfully so.

“No.”, the Devil grimaced, as if the mere suggestion was absurd, “I like _certain_ humans, the rest of you are still hairless apes.”  
The Winchesters didn’t look too impressed. Fury couldn’t muster the strength to feel offended on behalf of his species. A little spark of indignation was soon quelled by his relief about how they weren’t dead already. He wondered though, was he included on the list of tolerable humans in Tony’s eyes? Somehow, he doubted it. Glances and frowns were exchanged and apparently, the brothers decided to believe Lucifer – for now. At the slightest sign of his involvement they would be back, no doubt.

For the first time since this chaos – insanity, really, - had started, Nick spoke up.  
“Basically, you are telling us the show is cancelled and you want to rock the stage elsewhere, in a different way than God intended.”

“Yep. I _choose_ to say ‘fuck you’ a second time.” He sounded inordinately pleased about this fact.  
“I’ve got my own life here. Being Iron Man is awesome. So many people believe in me, the masses love me.” Tony shrugged again in a careless manner and grinned at his team. When they hesitantly smiled back, the grin became even wider, more real. Pride was involved this time, definitely. Maybe, they’d had a reason not to tell Fury about their mission in Iowa after all. It could have gone worse. The whole story needed to sink in. Right now the questions that would surely follow later weren’t fully formed or simply too many to ask them all at once.

“That, and I bet he likes the cheeseburgers too much, that counts for something. He wouldn’t risk to never taste them again. And blueberries.” Clint reasoned with a completely straight face. The Winchesters shared a look again, this time an incredulous one. Their faces essentially shouting ‘what the hell!?’ louder than a neon sign could have.  

“Who says I’m not just taking some lazy days – ah, months – before I really start the show?” The man in question threw in for shits and giggles, just to be ignored. They _ignored_ Lucifer. That would take some time getting used to and funny enough, it was what finally got through to the Winchesters.

“What’s it with the powerful beings not killing us because they happen to like fast food?” Sam snorted, somewhat exasperated. Dean saw his chance of finally converting his brother to eat ‘true food’ again.

“See Sam, fast food is all that’s needed to save the world, you should appreciate it more. You know, by eating it too.”

“You don’t like cheeseburgers?” Tony sounded truly perplexed.

“See, I was right!” Clint exclaimed, mock-proud his assessment of Stark had proven to be true. That was what that broke the dam, Bruce couldn’t hold it anymore. His stifled chuckles broke down Thor and Steve as well. Soon they were all smiling or at least relaxing more, the former tense atmosphere had all but evaporated. Nick’s lips twitched upwards.

“I do not think eating cheeseburgers is a measurement of humanity somehow?” Castiel’s honestly confused half-question caught them off guard for a second, before setting Clint and Thor off into another fit of laughter that lasted even longer this time. Dean shook his head at the angel.

“Well, as funny as this was,” Fury started once they had stopped, “we need to discuss a few details.”

“Not now, Nicky, we’re having fun.” Stark complained. _As usual_. It didn’t perturb him. Quite the opposite, it was reassuring in its own way.

Trying what would work with the angel now, he grumbled:  
“Stark, important matters such as this can’t wait for when it’s convenient for – “

“You’re such a stick in the mud.” He was back to talking to a five-year-old…

“Right, uh, we’ll just leave then?” The younger Winchester stated. Or tried to. It came out more like to a question. Getting a silent confirmation from his brother, he looked at Castiel and then at Lucifer, who understood they were asking if they _could_ take their leave now _._

“Yeah, whatever. I yanked you back earlier because leaving after shooting someone in the face is plain rude. Having to deal with you again in the future didn’t sound like my idea of a fun adventure either.” He paused, then his eyes narrowed by a fraction.  
“You get away with shooting me this time, because you are the reason I got my Grace back. Try this again and I won’t guarantee for the continuation of your existence.” The threat wasn’t exactly subtle. Despite the polite smile on Tony’s face, the trio shuddered. _Heaven forbid_ they thought he was _redeemed_. He still was the Devil, and he damn well enjoyed it.

With those…nice and reassuring parting words, Stark snapped his fingers. The trio vanished at once. Hopefully they would land somewhere safe. Knowing Stark, he had probably dropped them into a women’s bathroom somewhere, or pool in a closed neighborhood, or a field of stinging nettles in the middle of rural Montana, … You get the picture. He was that mature.

The remaining people took a short Moment to collect themselves after this wholly unexpected visit. Shaking his head, the Director of SHIELD got back to business. Taking control was his specialty as the Director of SHIELD. Fixating the Avengers with a hard stare, he began dryly:  
“You want to tell me why I wasn’t informed that you were working with the Devil?”

Glowing red eyes and a smirk answered.  
“Funny story, actually…”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Word count: 6173  
> Reviews with constructive criticism are always appreciated, flames will be reported and deleted. English isn't my first language. If something sounds strange to you as a native speaker, please tell me so I can improve! 
> 
> I see a lot of parallels between Tony's and Lucifer's characters. The daddy issues alone...  
> I'm aware there has been an increase of similar fics, but I do not intend to rewrite or copy anything. The idea for this story had been born before I read those other stories, but I have become more and more inspired by some of them, especially 'The Last Archangel' by inukagome15. Check it out, it's a beautiful piece of art!  
> The plot for my series just grew until I couldn't hold it all inside my head anymore and had to write it down. I hope you can get immersed into my universe just as quickly.  
> Thanks for reading,  
> Petals


End file.
